My friend wants to be a vigilante in new york. What should i tell him, or how should i make fun of him?

My 16 year old virgin friend wants to fight crime in new york. He lives in Nebraska. He goes home after school and eats chicken and plays video games. PLEASE GIVE ME SOME REASONS WHY THAT'S THE DUMBEST IDEA EVER TO FIGHT CRIME WHEN HE CAN'T EVEN TAKE A SHOWER.