I Feel uninteresting and lifeless.... i create a character for society that everyone likes but its not me?

i hang out with a group of like 25 people but i started this recently. we go to clubs, and experience the whole nightlife. thing is im a victim of malpractice on my and have a small scar. it makes me feel uncomftorable and broken alll the time in a sense of why me. up until this group of people, ive hung out with the same ppl ive known practically my whole life. i thought it would be goood for me to get to know new people. they have all accepted me and treat me good. next proplem is i shy away from the females. i try to find things in a girl i dont like to give myself an excuse. i want to know how to be more interested in what she would have to say and be less caring about looks with females. ill end up gettin a sign from a girl like a look or some smart remark but im too much of a to act on it. im afraid if im taking something the wrong way and get embared. also mostly all my friends have like 8 inch wangs (lol) and i got a 5 incher. im 20. should i care. i need advice